Rory Jackson - Little Red Space Ace

Little Red Space Ace

Jimmy threw his bag on. Then he chucked the book on the table and raced off to school. It was 9:30 on Wednesday the 7th of May 2008, and he was 40 minutes late for school.
“Jimmy!” Mr Frantly, Jimmy’s teacher said. “You’re late, again!”
“Sorry, Mr Frantly.” Jimmy replied, while putting his bag on the hook that was free in the back of the room. “But I have a perfectly reasonable explanation.”
“Excuses again!” Mr Frantly yelled. “What is it this time!???!!?!?!?”
“May I use the whiteboard?” Jimmy asked.
“Be quick.” Mr Frantly sighed.
“Okay.” Jimmy started. “This morning I was reading a book to my little brother that made me late to school. This is the story of Little Red Space Ace.”
“Little Red Space Ace
Once upon a time on the 84th of Jancember, 2050, an alien called Space Ace, who was little and red and lived on planet Kleemtos, was bringing a ritual colt to her grandma’s house to sacrifice her into a giant space volcano. She had some human blood soup to give her as well, because it made her body invincible to the pain of up to 66613666 degrees.
“Be careful!” her mother told her. “And don’t talk to strangers again! It cost me a 478953413865784678634786134723478976789137891238902
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Glorkaxian dollar bribe to get you back!”
“Sorry, mum.” Space Ace replied while leaving.
She stole a courier delivery flying saucer, and her and the colt were off. Her grandma lived on planet Mylin, which was 2 Earth hours away. Halfway there they realised that they were going the wrong way. So they turned back. Then when they were going the right way and they were halfway there, a blue blob saw them. Then, with his super scanning vision, he scanned the ship so he knew about grandma, Space Ace and the colt. He also found that they were edible! He was quite hungry then. So he went to their ship and Space Ace wound down the window.
“Can I have you deliver something for me?” the blob asked.
“We aren’t actually deliverers for this company, but okay.” Space Ace replied. “Where to?”
“That worm hole over there.” it said, pointing to a wormhole.
“Let’s go, fellas!” Space Ace said to the colt. Then they left.
“Now my plan shall commence!” the blob screamed. “Muahahahahaaa!!!!!! Muahahahahaaa!!!!!! Muahaha *cough* *cough*”
Then he warped to grandma’s house. The blob knocked on the door.
“I like grapes.” Grandma said as she went to open the door. When she did, she screamed. Not because she saw the blob, but because she farted. Then the blob zapped her with a laser beam that sent her to a different dimension. The blob went into the lounge and looked at a picture of her and transformed into what the picture looked like. But he didn’t know that it was from 867 years ago! Then Space Ace came in with the colt.
“Grandma?” Space Ace yelled out at the top of her lungs.
“I’m in here!” the blob said as it got into grandma’s bed.
“Grandma!” Space Ace screamed. “What great aging cream you have! You look 867 years younger!”
“All the better to stay young with!” the blob replied.
“What great shampoo you have!” Space Ace screamed.
“It’s L’Oreal!” the blob replied. “Because I’m worth it!”
“What tiny eyes you have!” Space Ace screamed
“All the better to be blind with!” the blob replied.
“What a big mouth you have!” Space Ace screamed.
“All the better to eat you with!” the blob screamed as it lunged at Space Ace, with it’s mouth hanging open.
“You can’t eat me!” Space Ace yelled. “You have to drink this human blood soup to get you ready to be sacrificed.”
“Sacrificed?” the blob thought. Then the colt came in, knocked it out and started pounding it to tenderise it for the space gods. Then they warped to the volcano. The colt started chanting some alien gibberish.
“Kamalala Faposimo Shishimashi MALOMALO!!! Kamalala Faposimo Shishimashi MALOMALO!!!”
Then the blob rose into the air and was thrown in the volcano by an invisible force. But just as the blob was about to fall in the space lava, grandma jumped out and got to the top of the volcano.
“Space Ace,” Grandma said. “I don’t want to be sacrificed anymore. I changed my mind.”
“K.” Space Ace replied.”
“…And that’s the story of Little Red Space Ace.” Jimmy finished. But then he noticed that noone was in the room. It was 5 o’clock! The bell rang 2 hours ago!